Q: How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change
Cheesy old joke it may be, but we all know that ‘wanting to change’ is one of the main reasons for coming to therapy.
My job is to help my clients believe that change is possible, and to help them learn how to go about it. The trouble is you can’t, however much you desire it (and feel you deserve it), change other people.
I’m often struck by the way that entwined with someone’s description of their difficulties - whether these are to do with relationships, self-confidence, anxiety or other issues - a story emerges of growing up with a parent who was completely self-absorbed and lacked any empathy with them. Everything was, and still is, ‘about them’.
Nick Duffell describes the lasting psychological effects of boarding school life in his book The Making of Them: The British Attitude to Children and the Boarding School System. You can read the first chapter by following this link. (Opens PDF)
The culture of acceptance around mental health issues in academia:
University staff battling anxiety, poor work-life balance and isolation aren’t finding the support they need.
Resilience in midlife: it's never too late to learn how to bounce back from adversity